Shikamaru's Cupid
by WillYouCatchMeIfIFall
Summary: A love potion meant for Naruto makes its way to Shikamaru? Oh, no. And who does he fall in love with? none other than Itatchi. This could get creepy.
1. Chapter 1

Shikamaru's Cupid

"This is such a drag."

"Come on Shikamaru, just put it on."

Shika walked out of the dressing room in a back tux. "Can't she just go by herself?"

Ino looked over Shikamaru's outfit with approval. "She needs a date, and I already told her you'd go."

Shika sighed and walked back into the dressing room. He sat down and leaned against the wall. Ino waited impatiently outside.

"I know it doesn't take you that long to change!" Ino finally shouted, after ten minutes had passed.

Shikamaru opened his eyes, annoyed. Then, he shut them again.

The next morning found Shika cross legged by the lake. He rubbed the bump on his head. Ino had hit him with her shoe. Apparently, she had not appreciated the fact that he had been meditating in the dressing room.

He sighed. He was not looking forward to the afternoon. Why did Ino have to open her big mouth? The thought of loud music and obnoxious dancing gave him a headache. Shika found himself wishing that Naruto would have gone with her instead. Of course, that wasn't possible since he was going with Sasuke.

"What?"

Ino crossed her arms. "You're still out here?"

Shika didn't even bother looking at her. "The dance doesn't begin for six hours."

"Exactly!" Ino's eyes grew large and round. "We still have to get you dressed, and get Hinata's corsage, and," she gasped, "I still have to get ready. And we have to try to brush through that hair, and…" She grabbed Shika's collar and pulled him back to the house, all the while listing things they had to do.

When they finally got inside, Ino ordered Shika into a chair. He reluctantly complied.

Ino grabbed a hairbrush and untied Shika's hair. Much to her dismay, however, it stayed in the same shape, just as if the tie was still in. She tried to put the brush through, but it broke off at the handle. She threw the handle down in frustration and grabbed hold of the brush head which was still in his hair.

"Ino what are you…Ahhh!" She yanked it down, but it wouldn't budge. Shika jumped out of the chair.

Ino pointed an accusing finger. "When's the last time you brushed your hair?!" She made a grab for the brush. Thus beginning a violent game of cat and mouse that can be summarized as follows:

"Ouch!"

"No, wait!"

"Get down here!"

"Ahhh!"

"I got ya!"

"What a drag!"

As you have probably already concluded from the last line, Ino caught Shika. Then, she forced him to get dressed.

"Now," she said, "I have an idea for your hair."

Shika groaned. "Leave my hair alone!"

Ino chuckled darkly, and squirted gel into her hand.


	2. Chapter 2

I still own no rights to Naruto or its charachters.

Ding dong!

"Shikamaru, Hinata's here!" Ino turned to Hinata. "He'll be down in a minute."

Hinata stood in the doorway with Temari and Choji. She was nervously twiddling her fingers (as always). "Um…are you sure he wants to go?"

"Of course, Hinata! He's on his way down!" She yelled the last part up the stairs.

"Ugh. What a drag. Why do I ha-" He stopped. Temari was standing in the doorway in a beautiful knee-length yellow dress. He dropped Hinata's corsage on the ground.

"Ahem!" Ino shattered Shika's thoughts.

"Wha? Oh," Shika unwillingly turned his gaze to Hinata. "You look nice Hinata." He bent down and picked up the small box.

Hinata blushed. "Thank you. So do you."

Shika touched the almost Sasuke-like hair-do that Ino had given him.

"Yeah… thanks."

Ding dong!

"Hey, is anyone in there?"

"Kiba!" Ino rushed to the door. "Hi!" She gave Kiba a hug that Shika thought for sure would cripple him.

"Whoa! Hi, Ino. Um…here…" He slipped a wrist corsage over Ino's hand. Ino giggled and hugged him again.

Temari whispered to Shika under her breath, "How much do you want to bet she picked that out herself?" Hinata giggled. Ino shot Temari a death-glare. She retaliated by, well…ignoring her.

"Don't you have something for Hinata, Shikamaru?" Shika looked down at the corsage. It was beaten up from the drop.

Oh, well. He thought. He opened the box and put the small rose decoration on Hinata's arm.

"Thank you." Hinata said quietly. She blushed, yet again.

"We should be going." Temari said.

Kiba looked up at the wall clock. "Whoa, you're right! We should be there in twenty minutes!"

So everyone grabbed their jackets and went out to the limo that, to everyone's complete and utter shock, was already partially occupied by Sakura and Rock Lee. Of course, everyone knew they were coming. I say they were shocked because Sakura was holding Lee's hand. They were supposed to be going separate. NOT together! But, it took only a moment for them to snap out of their surprise and hop in.

Shika and Hinata sat by Lee and Sakura, while Kiba and Ino sat by Temari and Choji across from them.

"So…" Sakura began after a few awkward moments. "Who all is coming?"

That was defiantly the right question. Ino began, "Well, obviously us, and Tenten is supposed to be there with Neji. Don't ask why they're going together. And Shino's going to be there, and Gaara's going to be there, and-"

Shika looked at Ino. "Gaara's coming? Who's going with him?"

Ino bit her bottom lip in thought. "I think…well, I thought that he didn't have a date. Not that he ever asked anyone, but…"

"What?" Sakura asked.

"Well, I saw him with some girl I didn't recognize. I think she was sand-ninja."

Kiba snorted. "Him in a suit? Ridiculous. I say he doesn't show."

"You're on!" Choji said. He took a huge bite of the chips he was eating.

Lee gritted his teeth. "He better not."

"Relax." Sakura gave his hand a squeeze. "If he shows, just stay away from him."

Lee looked at her with little hearts in his eyes. "Yes Sakura, my love. I understand." Sakura looked a little unsure but she did not withdraw her hand.

"Right… anyway," Kiba said.

"Kakashi, Anko, Asuma, and Kurenai will be chaperoning." Ino said.

Everyone sat in silence for a few moments before Hinata spoke up. "Um… are we moving?" Kiba, Sakura, and Ino all looked out their windows. (Shika had a window seat too but he really didn't feel like moving the curtain.)

Sakura chuckled, obviously annoyed. "Heh, heh, heh. Who forgot to pay the driver?"

Everyone looked at Lee except Sakura, who looked at Kiba.

Lee put his hands up in front of him. "It was not my job to pay the driver. I was not in charge of transportation."

Kiba spoke, "Um… then how did the limo get here?"

Everyone puzzled silently over that for a few moments until a man in a red cap hopped in the front seat. Everyone looked at each other.

"Umm…" Sakura poked the man's shoulder.

"Everyone buckled?" Jiraiya turned around with a huge ridiculous grin on his face.

(Heh, heh, heh. Just like Jiraiya, eh?)

"Uh…" Everyone huddled.

"Should we let him drive?"

"Does he even have a license?"

"Who cares? He's a perv!"

"Shh!"

"He's an adult. I say we let him drive."

"But-"

"Kiba's right. We need a ride."

"Ugh."

Everyone sat up. "So, ready?" Jiraiya asked happily.

"Let's go," Kiba said.

"Alright!" Jiraiya hit the gas and everyone clung to their seats. (Everyone that is except Sakura, who, much to Lee's delight, clung to him.)


	3. Chapter 3

Everyone got out of the car, ready to throw up.

"We're here!" Jiraiya announced cheerfully. Everyone fell to the ground.

"Okay! Have a good time!" And Jiraiya walked away.

"Wait, did he just walk inside?" Choji asked.

"No!" Ino and Sakura grabbed each other and yelled into the sky.

"Don't worry. He's probably just chaperoning." Kiba said.

"No!" They continued.

Kiba looked at Lee. They were obviously unsure of what to do. Shika rolled his eye, and for once in his life, moved without being prompted. He hooked his arm in Hinata's and led her inside.

The party was definitely huge. Everyone was there. Yes, even Gaara. And yes, he was wearing a suit.

"Well, I guess that settles that," Shika muttered.

"Hm?" Hinata looked at him.

"Nothing."

"Do you…uh…wanna dance?"

"I-"

"Of course he does!" Ino pushed them toward the dance floor. "Come on, Kiba!" Kiba pushed through the crowd toward Ino.

"Ah! Yes! Dancing!" Lee grabbed Sakura's hand, and they ran to the dance floor as well. Sakura giggled the whole way.

"Morning keeps away the shadows

Angels sing to morning skies

Bringing with them hope and happiness

Almost forgotten things in these lost times."

"Hinata?" Shika looked at her surprised. "That sounded really nice."

Hinata turned crayon red. "I…uh… sorry, I didn't realize I was…"

"Don't apologize."

"Um…I…" Hinata slowly backed away. "I have to use the restroom." She ran away.

"What'd you do Shikamaru?" Ino watched Hinata run toward the restroom. Shika stared after Hinata, unsure himself, of what he'd done. He sighed, and walked toward the punchbowl. Girls were so troublesome. He sat down and closed his eyes.

"Where's Hinata?"

Shika opened his eyes. "Well?" A cute bouncy boy stood less than a foot away from him.

"Naruto!"

"Just a second, Sasuke-teme!" He turned his attention back to Shika. "Didn't you come with her?" Naruto poured himself some punch.

"Yeah, she ran away."

Naruto put his punch on the table and sat next to Shika. He was intrigued. "What'd you do?"

"I didn't do anything. She just went to the restroom."

"Oh." Naruto stood up and grabbed his punch. That wasn't exactly what he had been expecting. "Didn't she go before she-"

"Naruto?"

A huge grin spread across Naruto's face. "Looks like it's time to dance." He handed his punch to Shika, and ran to Sasuke.

Shika sighed. "Whatever." He took a drink.

Sakura ran over to the punchbowl, obviously out of breath. She grabbed a cup of punch.

"So, you came with Lee after all?"

"Yeah," Sakura smiled. "Once you get past his appearance, he really is a great guy."

Shika's eyebrow began to twitch. "You mean you LIKE HIM?"

A soft blush crawled over Sakura's face. "Yeah, I think I do."

They both turned their attention to Lee on the dance floor. "Come on, Sakura!"

She giggled. "I'm coming Lee! See ya, Shika."

Shika watched her run toward Lee. Then he watched as Gai ran after Konahamaru. "Hey! Get back here! You can't be in here!"

Gai ran in front of Temari, and that's where Shika's gaze stayed. She laughed as she danced with Choji. Shika found himself wishing that he had asked her to come with him. No offense to Hinata. She was cool, but Temari was radiant. He watched her dance for a while until something else caught his eye. Someone in a cape was standing in the corner. A strange feeling came over Shika. He had a need to talk to that person. He stood up.

Kiba walked up to him. "Hey, wh-" Shika pushed him out of the way. He ran toward the cloaked figure that was headed toward the door.

When he got outside, the person was nowhere to be found. "Hello?" Suddenly everything went black.


	4. Chapter 4

This is me, writing, not owning the rights to Naruto. tear

You may notice Shika acting very out of character from here on out. It is intended. You may also be surprised by what happens (or maybe you won't. I don't know. I'm not in your mind.)

"Ungh…" Shika awoke on the ground. His arms were tied, thought he knew that would be easy to escape.

"Good. You're too heavy to carry."

Shika looked up at the man… or was that a woman? Let's call it a he. "Now, let's go, Naruto." He tugged on Shika's ropes.

Shikamaru looked down at his hands and pulled his wrists from the bonds. The man just stared at him. That's when Shika noticed the cloak. It was black with red clouds on it. He picked it up and started to walk away. The man finished his gaping and lunged at him. "Get back here you little brat!"

Shika put out his foot and tripped him. The man fell on his face. "Get back here Naruto!" Shika proceeded to jump from tree to tree until he was very far away. He sat down and examined the cloak.

"What the-" A little vial fell out of the cloak. Shika examined it. It appeared to have been filled with a red powder. Poison? He took the lid off and smelled it. It smelled like strawberries. Okay… Shika turned his attention back to the cloak. It was nothing extraordinary, but… Shika put it on. It smelled amazing.

He leaned against the trunk of the tree and fell asleep.

"Shikamaru!" Shika opened one eye. Ugh. Ino. "Where have you been? How could you just leave Hinata like that? She was worried sick!" Ino looked at Shika. "Where did you get that disgusting cloak?"

Shika pulled it closer around him. Ino sighed. "I found him!" Ten seconds later Kakashi, Gai, Lee, Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, and (last) Choji arrived.

"Shikamaru, what happened?"

"Are you okay?"

"Why did you leave?"

Sasuke pushed everyone out of the way. "WHERE DID YOU GET THAT CLOAK?!"

Shika looked at him. "Why do you care?"

"Itachi…" Naruto said quietly.

Shika's heart jumped. Itachi? What an amazing name! He pulled the cloak closer.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at Shikamaru. "Give me the cloak," he growled.

"It's mine," Shika said.

"It belongs to Itachi." He spat the name. "You've seen him?" Sasuke took an offensive stance. Naruto gently put a hand on Sasuke's arm.

"Sasuke?" Sasuke turned his head slightly to look at Naruto. Naruto hugged him. Sasuke turned and hugged him back, burying his face in the boy's blonde hair.

"What's that?" Sakura pointed to the vial, which had fallen on the ground. Kakashi picked it up.

"Hmm…smells like," Kakashi shut his eyes. "A love gura."

"How do you know?"

"Well, I tried to make one once. It didn't work very well, but…Ahem Love guras are known for the way they smell. This one smells like strawberries and dandelions."

Lee lifted an eyebrow. "Okay…"

"Well, I don't really know much more about how they work. You'd have to ask him." He motioned toward Gai.

"Shikamaru," Gai said. "You have to give us the cloak."

Shika stuck out his tongue. "No!" Then he got up and ran away.

"Well," Kakashi turned toward Gai. "I guess we know who took that gura."

"Let's go!" Sasuke made to follow Shika, but Kakashi held him back.

"I suggest you leave him alone for a while." He looked at Naruto. "Besides, I think we all know who that potion was really meant for." Sasuke held onto Naruto. "When your brother realizes that he didn't hit his intended target, he'll be back. I suggest you save your energy for when you really need it."


	5. Chapter 5

Rights to Naruto and its characters- not mine.

* * *

Shikamaru sat beneath a large tree. The cloak was driving him crazy. He had to find this 'Itachi'…Sasuke's brother. Shika thought about his situation. The best place to start looking would probably be with that man…

Shika stood up. Usually, he would have hated a long journey like this, but Itachi was worth it. Shika began making his way back through the trees.

Finally, he found the man. He was meditating under a tree. Shika walked up behind him. "I knew you'd be back," the man said, without even opening his eyes.

"I'm coming with you."

"I know." I knew that gura would work, He thought.

The man stood up and turned to Shika. "Come on, keep up." Shika followed him into the woods. "So, I finally meet the famous Naruto."

Shika may have been a little out of his mind, but he knew what the man was thinking. "Yeah, that's me…Naruto."

* * *

The journey lasted two days, during which time Shika neither slept nor ate. All he did was hold, wear, and worship the cloak. It was his only connection to his "true love."

When they made it to the elder Uchiha, Shika was still wearing the cloak. He had it pulled over his head so he could smell it and stay warm at the same time.

"I got him."

"Naruto," Itachi reached his hand out and ran it along "Naruto's" arm.

"Ooh," Shika got goosebumps. He pulled down the cloak and embraced a shocked Itachi. "Itachi, I-"

Itachi pushed Shika away and turned on the man. "This isn't Naruto, you idiot!"

"But you said…"

cue flashback

"A party?"

"Yes," Itachi had an evil glint in his eye. "Just put this gura in his punch. If you take my cloak, he'll follow you."

"How will I know which one he is?"

"He'll be the one everyone calls Naruto, idiot!…"

end flashback

Itachi scowled at the man. "I told you what he looked like! CONTINUE THE FLASHBACK!"

continue the flashback (hurry!)

"…calls Naruto, idiot! He's blond! He's bubby! He'll probably be dancing with Sasuke!"

end flashback

Itachi looked around. "Where are you!?" All the birds in nearby trees flew away as quickly as possible.

"He went that way," Shika pointed into the trees. Itachi turned to look at Shika who batted his eyelashes. (Yes, batted his eyelashes.)

Yet again, Itachi pushed Shika away from him. Itachi put his hand on his temple. He felt like he was surrounded by idiots. He turned to Shika. "Who are you?"

"I am…Naruto Uzumaki." Shika smiled.

Itachi gritted his teeth. "I know you're not Naruto. Who are you?"

Shika's smile faltered. "I'm… Shikamaru Nara."

Suddenly Itachi had an idea. "Shikamaru? The lazy one?"

Shika put a small pout on his face. "It sounds really bad when you put it that way."

Itachi laughed. "Shika, you love me?"

"Yes."

"Then you would do anything for me?"

Shika hesitated. Something told him this was wrong, but he answered anyway. "Yes."

"I want you to bring Naruto here."

Shika looked puzzled. "Why do you want Uzumaki?"

Itachi got closer to Shika until their noses met. "Will you?"

Shika leaned in closer and kissed Itachi. Itachi, of course pulled away.

"I'll be back!" Shikamaru vowed, and he ran off into the forest.

(Meanwhile, Itachi was busy gagging.)


	6. Chapter 6

Naruto is not the property of me or anyone that I know. That does, in fact, make me sad. Yes, I might cry. What? You want to see me cry? squeezes out a tear There. Now are you happy, you weirdo?

* * *

Shika smiled. If Itachi wanted Naruto, that's what he would get.

"Shikamaru!?" Choji? Shika ran in the direction of the voice. "Shikamaru, where are you?"

"Choji?"

"Shikamaru? Man, we've been looking all over for you, where have you been?"

"Ah, you know. Just needed time."

"okay… well, you should go to the village. I've got to tell everyone else I found you."

"Yeah, Kakashi said you'd be back, but Kiba and I weren't so sure so…we got some help and we've been looking for you."

So, Shika headed back while Choji found Lee and Sakura who found Naruto and Sasuke, who found Kiba, who found Gai, who found Ino, who found Temari.

Choji headed back after he found Lee and Sakura. He was waiting with Shika when Shika noticed Naruto coming.

"Uh… I've got to pee." He said, and he shuffled away from Choji. As soon as he was sure Choji couldn't see him, Shika made a break for Naruto.

"Hey Shi-" Shika tackled him behind a bush. "Shikamaru, what are you doing?"

Shika chuckled a little nervously. "This is all he wants, just you! We can be happy. I just need you to come!"

Naruto was bewildered. "What?"

Shika took a deep breath. "I have to take you to him. It's my only chance to win his love!"

Naruto held back a laugh. "He?...Really?...I thought you found that creepy…Who is it?"

Shika new better than to tell Naruto who it was. "I can't say. Just trust me. You would want me to trust you, right?"

Naruto looked like he completely understood. "I completely understand." He glanced over the bush. "But we should probably tell them that we're leaving first." He pointed to the group who thought Shika was taking a bathroom break.

Shika looked over the bush. Gai was talking to Lee, who was holding Sakura's hand. Choji was eating a few ribs that he had bought from a vendor. Kiba was picking at a flower. And Temari was…Temari…Shika felt a shiver go down his spine. He remembered the day before. She had looked beautiful in that dress.

"Shikamaru, woohoo!" Naruto waved his hand in Shika's face. "Helloooo?"

"Huh?"

Naruto tried to follow Shika's gaze. Unfortunately he made a wrong assumption. "Kiba? You like Kiba? Does he know? Does he like you? Do-" Shika put a hand over Naruto's mouth.

"Shh! No, it's not Kiba, but you're right. We should talk to them."

Shika and Naruto got up and made their way to the group. "Hey, what happened to you?"

"You guys are all dirty!"

"I thought you had to pee!"

"Shikamaru? You're bleeding!"

Everyone looked at Shika's leg. Sakura was right. When Shika had pushed Naruto down, he had cut his leg on a rock.

"I'm okay."

"No, you're not." Temari bent down to take a look at his leg. Shika was careful not to look at her. He worried that strange feeling might overcome him again. Then…she touched him. It was only for a moment, very lightly, but it affected Shika. He fell to the ground.

"Shikamaru?" There it was again. Temari's hand was on Shika's back, trying to calm him down. He began to choke. Something was coming out.

"Shika!" Everyone gathered around him.

"Give him some space!" Gai moved everyone (Except Temari) away from Shika.

Temari got in front of him.

"Shika?" He could smell her. It was wonderful. It was much better than Itachi. Finally, it came up. A walnut sized ball came out of Shika's throat.

"What is that?"

"Don't touch it Temari!" Gai reached over and smashed it with his foot. The small ball broke into a powder that bubbled, then vanished.

"Wha?" Temari leaned away from the spot the ball had been.

"A love gura." When Gai saw everyone's confused faces, he continued. "At first it is a powder. It is used to make a person believe they have fallen in love. It's usually stirred in a drink. Once it is ingested, it hardens into a ball that remains in the system until it is forcefully removed." Gai looked at Shika. "Luckily, this is a very small gura. It seems that you only ingested a small amount."

"Sakura looked at Shika. "A powder? Didn't you say-"

"The punch was powdery, yeah." Shika sighed. "And I'm sure you already know this was Itachi's doing. He was after-"

"Naruto," Sasuke finished.

Naruto nodded. "Me."


	7. Revenge

Last Chapter! Yay! Enjoy!

* * *

"Ready?"

"Ready."

"Itachi! I brought what you asked for!" Shika danced up to Itachi with a tied, gagged, and blindfolded Naruto.

Itachi grinned. "Bring him to me!"

Shika took Naruto to Itachi, who untied him.

"Naruto," he murmured. Then he kissed him, and much to Itachi's pleasure, Naruto didn't fight him. In fact, he opened his mouth. Itachi gladly kissed him harder. Then, suddenly he pulled back.

cough, cough "What did you eat?" A strange feeling overcame Itachi. He turned to the man (man?) behind him.

"Itachi, are you o-" Itachi kissed him. The man struggled, but Itachi wouldn't release his grip.

Poof! Naruto disappeared, but Itachi didn't notice. Not until the trees started giggling did he stop kissing the man.

"It's getting noisy," He said quietly to the man. "Let's go somewhere more private." And with that, he grabbed the man and left.

"Ha, ha, ha!" Twelve ninja jumped from the trees to join Shika.

"Yeah!" Choji gave him a high-five.

"Alright!" Gai gave him a thumbs-up.

Sasuke hugged Naruto. "Seeing him kiss your shadow clone almost made me sick." He kissed Naruto.

"You know," Everyone turned to look at the newly arrived Kakashi. He motioned toward the section of the forest that Itachi had run off into. "I really shouldn't approve of that." His tone suggested a 'But you know I do.'

Sasuke went back to kissing Naruto. Lee took advantage of that to kiss Sakura, and Shika took advantage of the distraction to grab a hold of, and kiss Temari.

* * *

(I just wanted to let you know that Shika did not sleep for three weeks after that, because he kept having nightmares about kissing Itachi.) 


End file.
